Physiological Shit

 In one of my therapy sessions, I said I don't like change .. it makes me feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed like there are a million things I need to handle and I am overloaded.. later this sentence was what I think makes me a perfect candidate for group therapy that aims to help people regulate their emotions by being more mindful and present in the moment. But How are those related together? How can we relate people who don't like change to people who can not regulate their emotions? In my perspective that came just from experience living my life and that may be wrong so take it with caution, it might not be causation but there is a high correlation here.  From my experience, I did have two people fighting in my brain one of them said: I CAN NOT STAND CHANGE and the other replied I WANT TO GROW OUT OF HERE GROW MEANS CHANGE! and that's where my journey starts I used to hate to change because it makes me feel weak and unwise.. and when I feel these two I also feel ashamed

I have been living in hell lately.. hell that I have to admit I don't like very much and that definitely declines my doubts that I may be lived in hell for so long that I am used to it and afraid to live a calm life. But going back to hell makes me realize that I don't like it even though I know it is probably one of the reasons why I created this blog in the first place, I made my mind a long time ago if I am choosing between becoming productive creative and miserable or unproductive and happy I will for sure go with the second choice I lived in hell for so many years to spend another minute there and productiveness means nothing if I put it in comparison with  being happy and live my life Of course, I am like any other human being I love being noticed love my products, and love my pieces or literally anything I make it makes me feel worthy and noticeable and it satisfies my ego that does not seem to get enough no matter what I gave him But at the end of the day, I learned to